i'm such a spaz

It's funny how one comes across things that they've forgotten about. As I was walking around in my room this morning, I stepped on a folded piece of paper and when I opened it, I started laughing. It was a copy of an excerpt from a book by Kent Nerburn titled Letters to My Son. Lo and behold, it was about falling in love. I'm such a dork when it comes to these things--in other words, I'm a hopeless romantic whose in love with love. Is that a crime? Anywho, it's pretty long, so I'm just going to include some of it here.

It's a mystery why we fall inlove.

It's a mystery why it happens.

It's a mystery why it comes...

Sometimes, hopefully at least once in your life--the gift of love will come to you in full flower

and you will take hold of it and celebrate it in all expressive beauty.

This is a dream we all share.

More often it will come and take hold of you, celebrate you for a brief moment, then move on...

If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself.

There is nothing wrong with you.

Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart...

How you deal with love is how you deal with you,

and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys,

even if our lives and ways are different...

Remember that you don't choose love, love chooses you...

Love has its own time, seasons, and its own reason for coming and going.

You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it to staying.

You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you...

Love has always been and will always be a mystery.

Be glad that it comes to live for a moment in your life.

If you keep your heart open...it will come again.

Where My Heart Is, Will It Be My Destiny, Too?

Fate: "the will or principle or determining cause by which things in general are believed to come to be as they are or events to happen as they do."

A month ago, I rented the romantic comedy, "Serendipity," which stars John Cusack and Kate Beckinsdale as two individuals who reunite years after the night they first met, fell inlove and separated, convinced that they would one day end up together. It was my second time watching the movie, but since it had been years since I last saw it, I didn't mind watching it again. The movie was cute, but what blew my mind was how much the plot resembled my own life. It was very surreal. I felt the chemistry between Jonathan (Cusack) and Sara (Beckinsdale) and the pain of not knowing if you'd see each other again after your first meeting. More than anything, I related to how both characters had the feeling that they were going to end up together; it was depicted through "signs." Among them, Sara walking down the street and seeing a poster for a performance of Jonathan's favorite band and Jonathan getting into a cab and hearing the name Sara. Jonathan and Sara were in relationships in the movie, but it was obvious that their hearts, no matter where they were in their lives, were with each other. In one scene where Jonathan goes to see Sara in San Francisco days before his wedding and is outside her home, he asks his best friend, "what am I doing here?" The best friend answers: "Maybe you're here because you don't want to be standing somewhere else." I won't spoil the ending for those who haven't seen "Serendipity," but after watching it, I was convinced that the movie was a sign that what I"ve known in my heart for all these years is going to happen. To this day, there isn't a time when I'm not reminded of the one that got away. Sometimes I wonder if someone up there is playing a cruel joke on me. The more I try to forget this person and let him go, something always pulls me back. No matter where my own journey in life takes me, I know he'll be there at the end--even if it's not in this lifetime.

Love At First Sight= Scientific?

A long time ago, there was once a college student who, upon opening her front door, laid eyes on someone she felt she had known all her life within seconds of meeting him. She had no idea what had happened except that she had been struck on the rear-end with cupid's arrow and heard angels sing (no lie!) at the exact moment. According to match.com, this unexpected yet surprising phenomenon that happened to me was love at first sight. I will never be able to describe the feeling, but if you've ever experienced it, you know what I'm talking about. Apparently there's a science behind it, the website reports. " You and I have inherited the brain circuitry for this instant attraction, what has become known as “love at first sight.” This spontaneous passion comes from our primordial past when, like other mammals, our female forebears had a monthly period of heat. Like all mammals that have only a few hours, days or weeks to procreate, these ancestors had to become attracted quickly. They couldn’t spend two months or two years discussing their suitor’s career and family plans. They had to meet and produce offspring fast. Today, first meetings are still crucial. With little or no knowledge of this stranger, we tend to weigh heavily those few traits we first encounter. Based on these morsels of information, we almost instantly form a strong opinion of him or her, generally within the first three minutes."
Passion for the person we're attracted to can fall into two categories: love or lust. The website says one can determine the answer by how much (in percentage) you think about him/her during the day and evening. "Romantic love is an obsession. It can happen in a moment, but when it strikes, you can't get your new beloved off your mind. This passion can last--sometimes for many years," match.com says. In my case, the "passion" i felt for this person must've been love because he consumed my thoughts 24/7 for many years. LOL! Sometimes I think he's my soulmate. Even though I haven't seen him in years and are divided by mountains, rivers, valleys and a couple of states, I still feel him around me sometimes. Case in point: the other night as I was heading out of my car to enter my house, I had this sudden urge to look up at the sky; there was a voice telling me to look up. So I did, and I just smiled. Good memories do that to you.

Princess-ly Uncharmed Life?

Now that Britain's Prince William has committed himself to the stunningly gorgeous Kate Middleton, there's probably quite a many ladies who wish they were in her shoes. After all, who doesn't want to be a real-life princess? With all the glitz and glamour it may bring, some of us can't help but romanticize what lies in store for young Kate. However, there's also an unflattering reality that comes with being a royal. Check out this article: http://news.yahoo.com/s/dailybeast/20101118/ts_dailybeast/11034_princewilliamandkatemiddletonengagementhardworkbeingroyal%20%20%20%20

I just hope Kate is well-prepared for a life that puts duty above everything else. Honestly, if I had the kind of life that's mentioned in the story, I would more likely go insane. Having people constantly "control" my life is not cool. I'd rather be a free spirit.

Happiness Is...

Yesterday one of my classmates asked me, "what makes you happy?" My response: having quiet time and reflecting on the things that I have and not what I don't have. Having been in the publishing industry for 6.5 years, I've come to realize that during those years, I don't think I've ever been present in the moment. I may have been present physically, but mentally, I wasn't "there" because my mind was constantly reeling--i was always thinking of work to-do lists in my head; it not only consumed me, but exhausted me at the same time. Now that I'm in a different field of profession, I've become aware of how important it is to be "in the present." It's a great feeling and I wouldn't have it any other way. Quiet time has also altered the way I look at my life. This year has been a time of significant change and I know that I'm blessed. I may not have a lot of material things, but I'm "rich" with unconditional love that I get from those that mean the world to me and a job that i love as well as an abundance of reward that I get from it. For awhile, I didn't think I'd see the light, but I see it now and it's only going to get better from here on out. Therefore, savor the moments in your life and the little "gifts" that it brings. Happy Thursday!:)

God Wants Me to Know...

"That all is well. What could you not accept, if you but knew that everything that happens, all events, past, present, and to come, are gently planned by One Whose only purpose is your good?"

The above only confirms my belief that everything happens for a reason. I waited patiently for a long time for something that never came. When it didn't happen, I cried like never before. I just didn't cry a river, I cried an ocean. I knew it was bound to happen, but I wasn't prepared for it to happen. At first I was completely numb and didn't think much about it. However, the following morning, I felt an imaginary feeling of sadness looming over me the moment I opened my eyes. I knew right there and then that I was going to have to deal with the pain and not run away from it. So I let my tears flow...and flow...and flow...In the end, it was very therapeutic because everything that I've held in for so long were washed away in those tears. It was quite a cleansing moment as I felt like I was letting go of my past and looking toward the future. I'm comforted in knowing that God has bigger plans for me and that the best is yet to come:) Hence, the title of this blog. It's a new beginning and I can't wait to see where it leads me:)

I'mmmmmm Baaaaack!

I've been hibernating as a writer for the last six months and wondering if I still have it. I'm using this blog as the ultimate test of my "wordly" skills. Stay tuned!